Goals and Grattitude

I'm on a roll! Second blog post of the day! I believe that two of the most important aspects of goal setting are to make them public and to be grateful for what you already have. To that end I thought I'd share both with you.

Firstly, my goals for 2010. I'm counting on my blogging community to hold me accountable for these! Please feel free to post comments and challenge me / question me. :)

In no particular order:

- To accumulate $1 million in net assets by 31/12/2012. A bit of background on this one...When I was married I was able to build our net worth to just at $1 million within 3 years through property investment. To me this was nothing short of ASTOUNDING!!! For two reasons: I came into the marriage 4 years earlier in debt and, more importantly, my family history and psychology was such that I wasn't deserving of wealth. Although we were far from poor growing up, we were far from rich. Lower middle class more like it...but we had the mind set of being poor. So much so that when I was 14 I went to my best friend's house for dinner one time and her mother cooked steaks for us because she didn't think my family could afford a lot of meat. So I had a lot of negative psychology to overcome!

When I divorced my husband we split our assets 50/50 so my net worth halved. Added to that spending most of 2008 traveling and starting a new business in 2009 and enrolling in every course under the sun to learn how to be a kick ass coach and trainer has depleted my resources even more. So, although I'm not starting from scratch, I am starting from a significantly less advantageous position than I was in 2 years ago. But I did it once before and I can do it again. And it should be even quicker this time (so the three year time frame is a bit of a cushion).

- To seed that nest egg I have an amount of income (a REAL stretch goal) that I will attain this year.

- I've broken this yearly amount down into quarterly and monthly goals. To make this month's goal I need to add 3 new clients and to fill a group mentoring session. I've added one new client already and am formulating the session I want to kick off with. I'm going to be mentoring mid - senior executive women who are in the process of planning the second half of their lives. Women that, like many of us, are dealing with career, health and relationship issues. Women who might be asking, "Is this it?" or "What's next". I'm very excited about this as I see an important theme developing around me...women truly coming into their own and taking more power, making more decisions. But how to do this and stay true to your feminine? Ahhh, there's the juice!

- 135 lbs / 61 kg's by 28/2/10

- Eat in a way that I know will sustain optimum health and fitness 80% of the time (I plan to live to be 104 or more...and I'd like to do this with optimum health).

- Drop back by myself by 31/3/10

- Be able to jump back from Bakasana position by 30/6/10

- Do 2 "Date with Destiny" (Tony Robbins) events as a Senior Leader and assist with Steve Linder's Strategist and Master Strategist courses here in Sydney.

- Volunteer for 2 - 3 hours / week.

- Develop a wider circle of friends whom I form close relationships with. To that end I plan to host "incredible persons" nights where I invite several "incredible people" from all areas of my life to my house for a dinner party. I will do these every 6 weeks. I will also host game nights at my house just for fun at least once / quarter.

Now for the gratitude:

This is soooo easy. I have so much to be grateful for. 2009 was an astounding year in so many ways. How lucky am I to live in Sydney, Australia? It's a beautiful city with mostly great weather and largely free from the fear mongering, sound byte listening, deeply polarised culture that has become the United States. And I'm just a stone's throw from my spiritual home, New Zealand. Ahhhhh, one of my rewards for meeting my goals this year is a trip back.

I'm also grateful that I've been lucky enough to be able to combine my job (how I earn money) with my career (something that has a path and that I learn and grow with and from) with my vocation (my passion, my purpose, what I was made for). I was made to help people and discovering / developing my career as a coach and trainer has been fulfilling beyond description. I'd truly do this job for free (and do do a lot of pro bono stuff). The job, career, vocation concept is one that was shared with me and a small group of people at Wealth Mastery by Keith Cunningham. He believes that people are lucky to have 2 / 3 be aligned and that it is the truly blessed individual who has all three aligned. I believe I'm truly blessed.

I'm so grateful for my clients. It's such a privilege to be let into people's worlds every day. To find out amazing things about them, their dreams, goals and aspirations and to do what I can to help them achieve those things. I am truly awed after every session.

I'm grateful every day on my yoga mat. I've said it before and I'll say it again, my Ashtanga practice truly is a miracle.

I'm grateful to be as healthy and fit as I am. I look and feel better at 48 1/2 than I ever have in my life.

I'm grateful for what this year has taught me about dating and men and the confidence it's given me in those areas.

Funnily enough, I got my divorce decree just started thinking about how grateful I am for my marriage and my ex-husband. Brad is a great guy and a good friend and I learned so much about myself having been married to him. I think we both helped each other grow in ways that would not have been possible had we not been married.

I'm incredibly grateful for the teachers in my life. Starting with my Dad. He's gone now, but I feel his influence every day. I wouldn't be who I am without him. My mentors who fundamentally shifted my thinking about who I am and my place in the world, Mr Graewin (sp?) my 9th grade science teacher, Dennis Morgan, my first General Manager at the Hermitage Hotel when I worked there in the early '80's and Peggy Page, my first Area Manager at Robert Half. And my most recent teachers who are teaching me things about myself and others and giving me incredible tools to work with others and change lives, Tony Robbins, Steve Linder, Cloe Madanes and Keith Cunningham. This year has been and incredible year of learning for me.

I'm grateful for the awesome peer groups that I'm involved with: the Robbins, SRI and Thought Leaders Communities. As Steve and Tony say, "Show me the quality of people you spend your time with and I'll show you the quality of your life." My life is pretty damn awesome!

I'm grateful for my apartment. The wonderful Woollahra refuge that's in the coolest neighborhood in Sydney, free from noise of the city and a beautiful space.

I'm grateful for my Aunt and Uncle and the unconditional love they've shown me through hard times.

And last but not least, I'm grateful for my fiends old and new. The ones in my life that continue to challenge and inspire me. Those who are there for me and have adopted me as family.

So, as you define and refine your goals for 2010 remember to stop and think about what you're grateful for. Gratitude begets more things to be grateful for!

A New Decade

Okay, first New Year's resolution is to update my blog more. I've committed to this after receiving a lovely note from a woman named Christine from half way around the world telling me she found my words inspiring. Wow! Heady stuff. So I logged on for the first time in a month to find that I now have 3 followers! Thanks guys!

Part of why I haven't written anything recently is that I, like most of the rest of the world, have been super busy over the holidays. The other reason is that I kept trying to thing of something profound to say as a way to kick off not only a New Year but a new decade! Too much pressure!

But then I decided to take my own advice. The advice that I give to my clients all the time. Take action! It doesn't have to be the best action in the world or the ultimate action...just take action. Get moving....so here I go!

A bit of an update:

My yoga practice was going great until I went to Singapore for a Tony Robbins event, Wealth Mastery. It was my third Wealth Mastery but probably the most impactful in many ways. The speakers were outstanding and I really "got" a lot of what they said this time around. I'm rethinking my investment strategies a result...learning to trade stock / shares with the DMAS Trading System developed by Steve Linder and Foreign Exchange trading from Knowledge to Action out of the UK.

This was also my first Robbins event as a Senior Leader. I was very excited! We had 900 participants (more or less...they kept coming and going...something I'd never seen with Western audiences) and only 24 Trainers / Leadership. We were a small but mighty team and bonded so well. Truly worked as a team and did everything from running mics to turning on / off lights (we only had 4 crew).

I was good for the first few days but then time constraints got the better of me and I stopped my practice. It would only have been for a few days, but for the fact that I came back from Singapore with some sort of virus and barely got out of bed for a week!

But the week before and of Christmas I was back at it. Felt good to be on the mat! I'm starting to do shoulder stand again after my neck injury and that's feeling good. I'm still chickening out on dropping back by myself though. But my goal is to do it consistently by the end of March.

Unfortunately I'm sidelined from my practice again for the next 10 days. But this is self-imposed. Many of you know that I lost 22 kilos / 50 lbs 5 years ago and have kept it off. Until 6 months ago. I started to notice small but stead weight gain. My clothes don't feel that much different, but when I got on my scales I realised that I'd gained 9 lbs / 4 kg's in the last 6 months. And put 2 inches back on everywhere. Soooo,

Back on The Fat Flush Plan! This is the diet I used to take all of my weight off in 6 months. The first two weeks is a cleanse where you cut out all carbs, alcohol, yeast and most spices. It cleanses your liver and lymphatic system. I feel better the first week than I did the first time around...but am losing weight much more slowly...to be expected with only 9 lbs to lose. Actually...I'm going for 10 to get down to the unheard of (for me) weight of 135 lbs / 61 kgs. I'm 5'7" and that should be my ultimate. At 48 though I'm not sure that's attainable or sustainable. But I would like to have flat stomach and thighs that don't go bump in the night.

During this first phase the only exercise you can do is power walking...20 minutes per day. So I've been religiously doing that. And not even attempting yoga (I made that mistake the first time around and almost passed out). But another 2 week holiday won't kill me and it will only take a week or so to re build the muscle I will inevitably lose.

This experience though has helped me to realise just how cavalier I'd become about what I was eating. Wayyyy too much sugar and more carbs than my body can really handle. When it comes to weight, my genetics are stacked against me...with my mother and sister both being morbidly obese, along with both Grandmothers when they were alive. My father was overweight for all but the last 20 years of his life as well. So, I've really got to watch it.

Now my struggle is, to drink or not to drink! I decided to give up alcohol awhile back...and then decided that that was a bad idea. I do like to have the occasional glass of wine with friends. Unfortunately with my addictive personality that turns into buying a bottle to enjoy at home one night...and then several times / week. Not that I drink much...1 - 2, 3 max glasses. But still. It's not congruent with my lifestyle.

So...do I go cold turkey or do I use my NLP skills to change the behaviour of drinking at home. Still deciding on that one. Would love to hear your thoughts!

My last post was about dating. Not much to tell in that arena over the last month. In fact...nothing. I decided to take myself off of the online site I was on for two reasons. First, I was tired of meeting nice guys with whom I had no connection. Second, I realised that I was using that as a shield. I could hide behind doing a bunch of coffee dates and feel as though I was making progress.

My new strategy? If anyone has ever read one of my favourite books, "God on a Harley" you'll guess already! Do the things I like to do and do more of it. Get involved socially, surround myself with cool people doing cool things and meet lots of like minded men and women. Not only will I meet men who are better suited to me, I'll also make more friends. And who doesn't need more friends??

To that end...I met some really cool people at the recent Thought Leaders Conference in December. Definitely some people I'll meet up with again now that the calendar has turned over and people are starting to go back to work. I'm also thinking about taking up golf, will definitely take photography courses, and do more volunteer work. It's going to be fun!!!

On not being the smartest chick in the room.

My niece, Kristen, who is extremely intelligent (along with my other two nieces, Heather and Robyn) commented at the beginning of her Freshman year at Ohio State (my and both of her parents' Alma Mater) that she was adjusting to not being the smartest girl in the class. She is, after all in Honours Engineering at one of the top schools in the US.

I reflected on that statement at the time and wondered what that felt like. Now, I don't claim the intelligence level of my nieces (although I am a pretty smart chick). But where I've been the smartest chick in the room was in my profession. After about 12 years in recruitment I'd reached the pinnacle of success in so many ways. Others made more money than I did, to be sure. But I was working 4 days / week and doing rather well. I was clearly at the top of my game and the "go to" person in accounting and finance recruitment in Auckland.

I spent the next 2 years really just going through the motions. I would interview a candidate and know within 5 minutes (and that's being generous) whether I could place them, where I could place them and if it was the right decision for their career. Then I had to spend 30 - 45 minutes with them going through the motions of an interview so that THEY felt like that had value.

I would sit in client visits and know in 5 minutes whether I could help this company. I knew what they needed (many times when they did not), I knew if they really had the authority to make the decisions and whether they would make them quickly or be a pain in the backside. Then I had to sit through the next 45 minutes with them establishing a relationship and making sure that they felt like they had received value from me.

Now, that's not necessarily a bad thing in terms of furthering relationships from both a candidate or client's perspective. But once you attain a certain level of mastery in something it just feels sometimes like you are going through the motions.

For the last several years that I was in recruitment I longed to learn from others who were better than I was. I longed to be challenged, to try something new and a bit daring or edgy. But it just didn't happen.

Then I moved to Sydney, gave up my recruitment career, started my new business and began to hang out with some really cool people including but not limited to the Thought Leaders Community, and the SRI Community. Not to mention my friends that I began developing through Tony Robbins (the grad community is much more active in Sydney than in Auckland).

I just completed Thought Leaders Million Dollar Expert's Immersion Program (yes, ANOTHER course!) yesterday. This was two days of intense thought around my business, my message, my mode of delivery and my market. Very cool stuff. I have a lot of work to do, which is really really exciting.

I was blown away by the caliber of talent in the room, quite honestly. Not only was I not the smartest chick in the room, I wasn't even in the top 50%!

And what a wonderful feeling that is.

My main message, I've discovered, is to help people re-invent themselves. Isn't that perfect? I've had 4 distinct careers, been married, amicably divorced and am now dating again, and lost 22 kgs / 50 lbs 5 years ago. I've re-invented myself several time over!

I think that challenging yourself and putting yourself in the position where you're not the smartest person in the room is not only a great way to re-invent yourself, but is also a fantastic way to keep from having to. If you're constantly learning, evolving and growing you can avoid most pitfalls that will necessitate a major change in your life.

Hmmmm, something to think about.