An Extraordinary Life

My dear friend Diane wrote me a question about my latest blog post. She asked me why I wanted to have an extraordinary life?

I guess the answer to that is multi-faceted. The first thing that comes to mind is, "I'm not really sure...I've always wanted an extraordinary life." I've always felt like I was put on the Earth to do big things and have pushed myself to learn and grow and develop myself as much as I could so that I can do big things.

But digging deeper I realise that I feel very much like my friend Sally. Sally is 23 and has just graduated from University. She, by her own accounts, has lived a very sheltered life. Then last year she went to Burma. Now, Sally has seen third world countries before and the experience has never affected her like Burma. Maybe it was her age; she was now mature enough to look outside herself, maybe it was the fact that she's part Burmese and still has relatives there. But all of a sudden she was looking at the world with new eyes. And she saw how other people lived. A lot of other people, all over the planet. All of a sudden she became acutely aware of how much needs to be done on this Earth. And since she returned from Burma she's been on a one woman mission to solve the world's problems. All of them. Tomorrow. (Ah to be young again!) :)

But seriously, Sally is remarkable and someone I admire greatly.

I practiced some of my new NLP skills on Sally last night to help her with some goals she wants to achieve around health and fitness. When I asked her why she wants to achieve them she said (and I'm paraphrasing here), because she wants the energy to do all of the things she needs to do to save the world. I asked her why that was important and she said that she believed you were given this life as a gift and that if you didn't use it to help others you were just taking up space (again my paraphrasing).

I realised that I feel exactly the same way.

However, having a good 25 years and several hundred, if not thousand hours of personal development work under my belt, I would go on to say that it's my personal belief that everyone actually feels the way Sally does. Everyone wants to help others. Everyone wants to make a difference.

But not everyone knows that they have the tools to do so. Many of us get stuck using tools and strategies that don't serve us because of some decisions we've made (sometimes about ourselves, sometimes others) about what's happened to us in the past.

Now, I'm not saying that everyone wants to or should be on a one wo(man) mission to save the world... Some people have big goals, some small. But I do think that everyone, deep down in their heart, wants to make a difference.

So why do I want to live an extraordinary life? Because I believe I can a difference. But I'm not on a one woman mission to save the world. I'm on a multiple person mission. I believe that I have some tools that can help unlock latent potential in others. I believe that I can help people adopt more resourceful strategies that will serve them and help them serve others. I believe that my purpose on this planet, during this lifetime, is to play a small part in activating a critical mass of people that are living their dreams and caring about what happens in this world. This critical mass of people will then change the course that we are currently on and will preserve our planet for generations to come. But in order to help people live up to their own potential I have to live up to mine, every day. I believe I can be an example of what's possible.

I think each of us have the responsibility to do the best with what we have. I've been blessed. I've been given a lot. As such, much should be asked from me and I'm trying to give it. Every day in every way.

And if I can do that it will be a life well lived.

So thank you Diane, my great friend, for asking me that question. And as we both know, that is your gift. The gift of asking great questions and getting people to think deeply about them.

Extraordinary Decisions vs Ordinary Decisions

Wow, it's been 10 days since I've posted. I want to post at least twice a week but I have let life and work get in the way. Both have been great. Really busy. I've got some new opportunities work wise which should generate a lot of new clients and revenue which I'm really excited about. More about that when they start popping.

Last week I was feeling a bit out of sorts. I think it had a lot to do with the fact that I had spent so much time in courses over the last month that I had not been able to push my business forward like I'd wanted to. Although with a bit more clarity I've since realised that I was doing exactly what I needed to...acquiring more skills to use in my coaching and a wonderful methodology through the Thought Leaders' Million Dollar Expert Immersion program. That one really helped me get clear on my message and gave me a system to organise everything. I highly recommend it to anyone in Australia that can take advantage of it that wants to develop a career training, speaking, writing and coaching (not necessarily in that order).

But last week I was not feeling this way. I was feeling a bit overwhelmed and disappointed in myself for not doing more in my business. I was also feeling angry at myself for not having as consistent of a yoga practice during all of these courses as I am committed to having.

Then, Thursday night as I was getting ready for my session with my coach from the States, Patty I started to ask myself some hard questions. The kinds of questions that I ask my clients. The kinds of questions that makes you really take a good hard look at yourself.

I asked myself why I let myself down so much in so many areas of my life. I wasn't eating consistently like I really want to eat. I wasn't practicing as much as I want to practice. I wasn't working on my business as much as I know I should.

And then the light bulb went on. I realised that I only really needed to ask myself one question. That question changed my life and my approach to it. That question is this..."Is this an extraordinary decision or an ordinary one." That's it!

Let me explain. You see, I am committed to helping people realise their true potential in life and then helping them with some tools so that they can live up to that potential. I'm committed to helping people have extraordinary results in their life. Yet, I realised that I wasn't living up to my own potential or getting the extraordinary results that I wanted and deserve.

I realised that I settle for the ordinary...a lot.

So I decided to ask myself a question every time I make a decision. "Is this an extraordinary decision or an ordinary one?" And these decisions range from what to have for snack...(starchy, processed food or a healthy juice blended up in my Vita Mix), to how to spend my time (should I really meditate or am I too tired?)

Now I'm not claiming that I'll make extraordinary decisions every time. But what I've noticed is that I am making them (after now 4 days of practice) much more than I was before. I'm also noticing that they are easy and that the mere act of asking myself that question gives me choice and serves as a constant reminder of what I'm committed to.

It's been a great tool for me and I'd encourage anyone who's up to extraordinary things to ask themselves the same question or a similary one.

What decisions have you made today that were extraordinary? :)

On not being the smartest chick in the room.

My niece, Kristen, who is extremely intelligent (along with my other two nieces, Heather and Robyn) commented at the beginning of her Freshman year at Ohio State (my and both of her parents' Alma Mater) that she was adjusting to not being the smartest girl in the class. She is, after all in Honours Engineering at one of the top schools in the US.

I reflected on that statement at the time and wondered what that felt like. Now, I don't claim the intelligence level of my nieces (although I am a pretty smart chick). But where I've been the smartest chick in the room was in my profession. After about 12 years in recruitment I'd reached the pinnacle of success in so many ways. Others made more money than I did, to be sure. But I was working 4 days / week and doing rather well. I was clearly at the top of my game and the "go to" person in accounting and finance recruitment in Auckland.

I spent the next 2 years really just going through the motions. I would interview a candidate and know within 5 minutes (and that's being generous) whether I could place them, where I could place them and if it was the right decision for their career. Then I had to spend 30 - 45 minutes with them going through the motions of an interview so that THEY felt like that had value.

I would sit in client visits and know in 5 minutes whether I could help this company. I knew what they needed (many times when they did not), I knew if they really had the authority to make the decisions and whether they would make them quickly or be a pain in the backside. Then I had to sit through the next 45 minutes with them establishing a relationship and making sure that they felt like they had received value from me.

Now, that's not necessarily a bad thing in terms of furthering relationships from both a candidate or client's perspective. But once you attain a certain level of mastery in something it just feels sometimes like you are going through the motions.

For the last several years that I was in recruitment I longed to learn from others who were better than I was. I longed to be challenged, to try something new and a bit daring or edgy. But it just didn't happen.

Then I moved to Sydney, gave up my recruitment career, started my new business and began to hang out with some really cool people including but not limited to the Thought Leaders Community, and the SRI Community. Not to mention my friends that I began developing through Tony Robbins (the grad community is much more active in Sydney than in Auckland).

I just completed Thought Leaders Million Dollar Expert's Immersion Program (yes, ANOTHER course!) yesterday. This was two days of intense thought around my business, my message, my mode of delivery and my market. Very cool stuff. I have a lot of work to do, which is really really exciting.

I was blown away by the caliber of talent in the room, quite honestly. Not only was I not the smartest chick in the room, I wasn't even in the top 50%!

And what a wonderful feeling that is.

My main message, I've discovered, is to help people re-invent themselves. Isn't that perfect? I've had 4 distinct careers, been married, amicably divorced and am now dating again, and lost 22 kgs / 50 lbs 5 years ago. I've re-invented myself several time over!

I think that challenging yourself and putting yourself in the position where you're not the smartest person in the room is not only a great way to re-invent yourself, but is also a fantastic way to keep from having to. If you're constantly learning, evolving and growing you can avoid most pitfalls that will necessitate a major change in your life.

Hmmmm, something to think about.